So it’s been a while….hasn’t it me?
I mean…I feel like I’m still pretty much the same……but I don’t even know what that is in my mind….
But any who, I’ve been on a “get my shit together” tear lately. I’ve slipped up at work once again, meaning that my mind has been a huge mess of ‘do your job’ and ‘don’t screw up again or else your fired’ and ‘I don’t want to tell anyone my problems because then they’ll think more negatively of me’ and ‘why the hell do I even bother since I’ve already screwed up and people see me in a negative life’.
My mind is absolutely tired of this mess.
I’m getting to the point where I just want to give up on me. But I know that there are only a few people who don’t want to see that happen to me. I know there is still that sliver of faith in me that believes that everything will eventually turn around and be alright. And these are some of the only things that are really keep me going right now.
Okay…..enough rambling…..it really is my bedtime. But maybe I need to start just ‘virtually journal’ my feelings, thoughts, messed up mind, etc.