Taking Time for Myself

I’m finding myself in that hole again….where I just don’t have the inspiration to write…to do things I want to do…to take time for myself….

I’m still searching for another job to supplement my current little job, and I’m debating whether or not to do some more schooling, and….I feel like I just need to be productive all the time….but I also know that sometimes I just need to take a so-called ‘mental health day’.

And also….I just don’t have the inspiration to write stuff on my blog or post all that often….I don’t really know why….it just happens every now and then, when I just struggle to get words down on my screen.




Some Accomplishments of Late

So….I did about….3 things that I would have never done on my own initiative.

I went out.

I hung out with strangers.

And I had a great time.

I have never been the one that would always go out and hang out with people. I’m just not that type of person. On any given day, I would much rather stay home (in some comfy clothing if at all possible) and just hang out in the house doing stuff. For the longest time, the outside world and strangers have always been a scary thing for me. A place where people are judgmental and mean, and a place where I just felt anxious and like an outsider (if you didn’t know any people). But…..ever since I came across the website meetup.com it has pushed me to get wayy outside of my comfort zone. It gave me the incentive to go out and meet up with strangers. (and my ‘ah, what the hell!’ spirit actually made me go out to these groups and meet up with strangers).

But looking back on it now…I’m damn proud of myself for doing this. Nobody who is close to met would even think that I would actually do this, but here I am….3 meet-ups later and wanting to do more.


You Are a B.A. (part 2)

So, now that I am back to the point of where I was when I first picked this Jen Sincere book from Target (for 20% off) in January, I thought to myself….might as well read it again and give this advice a go….because what more do I have to lose? 

So, I just got to part two of the book, and the first of the chapters is called Love the One You Is. And after going through part one (reason why your life has gotten to this point), I am going head first and putting these 9 practices to use. Because I need it.

  1. Appreciate how special you are
  2. Drown yourself in affirmations (write 4 affirmations down, 5 times, every day)
  3. Do things you love (like blog, write, draw, photography)
  4. Find a replacement (for negative things that you say about yourself)
  5. Ditch the self deprecating humor (not applicable to me)
  6. Let the love in
  7. Don’t compare yourself to others (really gonna try and do this)
  8. Forgive yourself (the most important thing….and I gotta do this)
  9. Love yourself

So…..I’ll pick this back up again sometime down the road and tell everyone reading how this is going.

Until next time,


Random Musings

So, I actually turned in an application at one place, asked about employment at the library, went into another store to check the status of my application and called another place asking about the status of my application.

I should feel good about this, but for some reason, I feel a sense of dread. Like….if I tell my parents about this then they won’t think that all of this is good enough…….

But let me get my mind off of that get to another thing.

Sometime last night (or yesterday…I can’t quite remember), I reached 100 likes on my blog. Even though this may be a microscopic accomplishment, it’s an accomplishment none the less! So I just want to give a big shout out to everyone who took time out of their day to read my random posts. 🙂

Also, I’ve been starting to notice something about myself. For the longest time I’ve been feeling a bit of an out of my body sensation. Like….I’m doing things throughout my day, but I’m not consciously aware of anything that I do. It always feels like yesterdays have never happened, and that my days are basically just a blur. It is also like my brain is in a constant heavy fog, all day, every day. Could this be derealization? Could this be a result of me not having any caffeine what-so-ever? I would love anyones advice and/or opinion about this.

But, as a last thought, I’m really trying to blog as much as I can, because it gives me a sense of accomplishment. It makes me feel like I’ve done something productive. It makes me feel a lot better because this is where I let my emotions out, sharing just a bit of myself in the hope that someone (who is struggling with mental health) may stumble across this blog one day and think to themselves that “I can relate to this” or “There is someone else like me!”.

Anywho….that is all…..until next time.


Stories (Revamp…)

So, I literally just went back over my category “Stories” and I cringed just a little bit.

I’ve never really been a good, solid writer. Hell, english was never my best subject when in school. But I did put my heart and soul into my stories that I wrote eons ago. Maybe that’s what counts, right?

But just looking back at my 3 (or such) posts in that category, I thought to myself…..ouch…..that’s cringe-worthy writing. 

But in the spirit of pushing past my woes of late…..why don’t I give this writing stories thing another go. I know they won’t be that great, but sometimes, it’s the thoughts that count…….right???