Out There Comparisons (2)

Alas…I have retrieved to the comforts of my room as the NFL playoffs are going on…

But here is segment number 2 of Out There Comparisons!

Sometimes, I just can’t help but think of songs and phrases of songs that go oh so well with ships.

Below are two more examples…

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I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you
Don’t want to, but I can’t put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you, I hate that I want you…
gnash – i hate u, i love u (ft. Olivia O’Brien) (Deepend Remix)

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…say you won’t let go…
James Arthur – Say You Won’t Let Go

Ah….I may know what’s wrong now…

(CONTINUED FROM “DO I REALLY CRAVE NEGATIVITY?”)

So since that post…2 years have passed and one job have passed. Yes, I’ve graduated, got a job three months after…and that employment just ended/was just let go/separated/terminated/fired….youI¬†get the picture.

So for the past week or so, I’ve been doing some reflecting. Some good, deep, hard reflecting (*shiftyimmatureeyeroll*) and I’ve come to another realization.

I’ve never been a self proclaimed “go-getter”.

I’ve never really tried hard to advocate for ideas. I’ve never quite grasped how to take initiative for things that I think of. I’ve just been letting other people run me. I’ve been letting others influence how I act, make decisions, do things….and that may be a big reason for why I’m in the situation that I’m in now.

And as to how it got this way…well I’ve found that in my 24+ years of existence, many decisions that I’ve made under my own willpower end up being wrong/bad decisions. I literally spilled this self-revelation yesterday, was told that it wasn’t the case, made a decision and then ended up following the decision that person I spilled to made for me (if any of that makes sense). This feeling that I’ve identified has been like a broken record for as long as I can remember…it just keeps happening again and again and again.

So, the question I’m posing to myself is…how in the hell can I fix all of this? How can I finally change this broken record of making decisions for me (because decision I make are wrong) into making good decisions for myself under my own power? I guess I’m gonna have to figure this out one way or another…….

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Just a thought…

It’s funny (to me) when you stumble across something old that you did however long ago. You look at something that you liked then and think to yourself “…huh…..I forgot that I liked that…”

It happened to me yesterday. 

I don’t know why I just thought of it now. 

…strange…

Woahh…

I haven’t even been on here since who knows when…..

but anywho, things have been going pretty swell for me as of late, but also, things have kind of taken a scary turn

as in

1. I finish up my internship in 2 1/2 weeks
2. I take my certification exam 7 days after
3. I graduate from college and loose benefits, protection and ability to go certain places!

WAH!